Spending half of my lifetime indulging in work and just work... I've came to realized that there are more important things in my life that I should spend my time with, as once I missed or lost it, I will never have another chance to turn back the clock. As such, I've learnt to treasure every moment with them.... Thank you my beloved Grandma, Daddy and Daisy.... you've made me come to know the mistakes I've made before. Though I can never see, talk or hug you now, but I know, you've never left me, just that you've "migrated to Heaven" and are watching over me from above now...
1) All my loved ones to stay healthy
2) Able to take holiday breaks every half yearly
3) To stay happy and positive
4) Buy my own house
5) Set up my own business
6) To do voluntary work for the Elderly
1) To Stay healthy
2) Cheerful
3) Skin no more itchy
4) Fur longer so that can tie nice nice top-knots
5) Mummy will buy me nice top ribbons and bows
6) A stroller
7) Lose weight (both me and Bella)
8) More quality time together
It's time of the year again...
I've used to love this month lots. It's a month of celebrations! Christmas, my birthday etc... I've always been looking forward to this time of the year.
However, since 5 years back, this month has a very different meaning to me, it's just not about having fun, it's about Life. 2008 December marked the most depressing time in my life, it was like roller coaster - up and down, coz grandma and Daisy were critically ill in the hospitals - grandma fell and went into coma and Daisy's liver cancer worsened.
Can you imagine how I felt when on my birthday morning, Daisy collapsed in my arms, I almost lost her? We had to dash her to the hospital and I was using my hands to keep "pumping" her heart for blood to flow, watching her pale gums closely while in the cab to the hospital? We had to do an immediate blood transfusion to my little one. My hands went numb... Same time, grandma went into a coma two days before. I "celebrated" my day with so much fear worrying that I may loose both of them on that day, I could only pray and pray... What's the feeling of cutting the birthday cake in a hospital when it was meant to be celebrated with my two loved ones (actually three, just that the third one, he is no longer part of my life now), it's not sweet but bitter with loads of tears.
God answered my prayers and I received the greatest gifts in my life that year - gift of life to my two beloved. I had them be with me to "celebrate" my day and Christmas, and I knew, that's the last celebration they could with me. I've held them very closely and I thank God for this special gift.
On Boxing Day, 26th December 2008, I lost the two of them, one in the afternoon, one in the night. Till now, I still do not know how I pulled through, the kind of sadness and pain was beyond words. My world shattered and went into a state of darkness. Losing them was like suddenly burdens off my shoulders, I could not find my balance coz it was like losing the floats in my life.
Thank God for seeing me through this time, HE lift me up and carried me to walk through this dark valley. I've grieved very badly, really very bad. Everything I see then, was grey, and I tear a lot coz I was feeling that indescribable pain.
From then, December has a very different meaning to me, not about celebration in terms of partying, having fun etc, I've no longer wanted to celebrate anymore, coz to me, thus is a memorable month, a month that I witness miracles happening and a month that I've lost my beloved ones. Therefore, it's a month that I will keep low profile as spend "personal time" in remembrance of them - Grandma and Daisy.