❥INTO ETERNITY .
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Jacqueline Leong
Spending half of my lifetime indulging in work and just work... I've came to realized that there are more important things in my life that I should spend my time with, as once I missed or lost it, I will never have another chance to turn back the clock. As such, I've learnt to treasure every moment with them.... Thank you my beloved Grandma, Daddy and Daisy.... you've made me come to know the mistakes I've made before. Though I can never see, talk or hug you now, but I know, you've never left me, just that you've "migrated to Heaven" and are watching over me from above now... |
Tuesday, March 30, 2010, 7:14 PM
Can't hold my tears ...
Have been trying very hard to be strong - coz i know mum needs me....But this afternoon - I just cannot stop my tears... I miss my daddy badly - I still cannot accept the fact that he has left me - premanently.... I'll never be able to see him in person, hear his voice, hold his hands... he has left me... left me to join Grandma and Daisy.... just too shocking. I lost 3 of my most beloved in a short time span of 15 months... now, family from 5 has downsized to 3 plus Bella... We still have not gathered our courage to pack dad's belongings... I still dare not coz I worry I will cry.... Whenever I am alone... memories of dad and his face and voice just comes into my mind.... Just when I come to terms about Daisy and Grandma left me.... Dad left me... its like so shocking... life is so fragile.... Daddy... I miss you dearly.. theres just so much things we have not done.... you left me without a word.... Labels: Missing daddy.... Monday, March 22, 2010, 8:55 PM
Mum stopping work ...
The impact from dad's sudden departure has been a great blow to my family... still finding it hard to believe he has left....Mum felt the tireness and after both brother and myself plus my aunties and uncles' advises, she has decided to step down from work and lead a more relax life to spend time at home and with Bella. Afterall, shes being bullied by that stupid gay at her workplace - this useless "not man not woman", has been bullying mum for many years... sorry lor... if he is good in his skills or have something to shout about - then its ok to be proud. He is basically a useless hair-stylist who hardly have any customers, think he can count the "strands" of hair he cut for customers. Today, I brought mum there to collect her items, finally goto see this "great" man, he was shocked to see mum leaving plus being accompanied by me... before we left.... I gave him a "great piece of mind" ... hahahahah,...... let him "bang bang bang"... I puke lor... no look, no built, no skills, no $$$, no customers.... dare to "ya ya"... ask him to go bang wall... LOL... Labels: Mom... Saturday, March 20, 2010, 6:07 PM
We lost our Daddy....
Have not blogged since 16th March coz we lost our dear daddy on 17th March 2010 @ 2.07am.His sudden departure has given us and his friends a great shocked, in fact till now, we still cannot accept that he is gone... Family has been down to 4 after grandma left us on 26th December 2008, and now, left with 3 with Dad's departure. House is so quiet now, parent's room look so empty. As we're still resting ourselves to recover from shock and tiredness, we've not unpacked dad's stuffs. Yesterday after dad's funeral, we came home, cleared away dad's pillows and blanket - to prevent mum from thinking of him in the night. She still cannot sleep - think she misses my daddy dearly. Its gonna take a long time to heal. Baby Bella has been a good baby, shes with us at dad's wake day and night to mourn for dad. She's placed in her stroller and she quietly rested there observing without barking. Relatives who initially dislike dogs, all said shes such a babe. We told them, Bella is my dad's baobei, shes like a daughter to him, she can feel and sense that daddy is done - Bella also shows her way of mourning for daddy by not wearing too colourful bows and she did not play much last few days, shes also trying to get use to daddy will not be home anymore coz he is in Heaven. We collected daddy's ashes this morning, Bella also joined us as shes part of us,she sat quietly in her carrier bag watching. It has been raining since yesterday when dad was leaving our house to Mandai, and this morning, when we collected his ashes, mum said, he maybe said to leave us so sudden - thats why the sky is "tearing"... told mum not to think that way, daddy will speak to us in our dreams.... Daddy... we miss you dearly, we really miss you badly.... Labels: Dad left us.... Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 6:35 PM
Losing Daddy
hv not bloged coz daddy is critically ill at hospital...we don't know what happened, he just collapse suddenly in his ward on Monday early morning at 430am,doc called us to rushed to hosp.... to our shock to see daddy like this.... his heart stopped for about 15 mins!!!! OMG ... wat happened??? no answer... daddy is now hooked to a life supporting machine and his BP is dropping... i cannot take it..... my daddy was not like this!!! We were told to be prepared etc etc, but... i cannot accept it!!!! Why am I losing him???? Daddy's BP dropped drastically this morning when i just came bk for a shower... dashed back and was told... I am losing him any time.... oh my.... my daddy have not spoken to me yet Baby Bella missing daddy.. shes been crying... this tough cookie.. never cries,,,, but she is now.... Daddy Daddy Daddy,,, how cloud you leave your 2 little gals .... you love us and we too... Daddy Daddy....... Labels: Totally Down Thursday, March 11, 2010, 6:41 PM
Dad is not doing very well ....
haiz.... dad don;t seem to be doing very well at the hosp, we've observed that he is getting very tired, kept sleeping and having problem with speech.... first thing came to my mind - is he getting a stroke??? OMG... pls don't.Called the ward and spoke to nurse in charge twice to send for a doctor to see him, as usual, they did not take my words seriously till I called again 2 hours later and really blew my top telling them to take my words seriously as my grandma went into coma in front of me coz despite the fact we told them about grandma's change in behaviour, the nurses there don;t belive us, thinking that we are over sensitive - told them, don;t wait till too late and I will hold them responsible. Within 5 mins, they got a doc to come-by, he agrees with my observation and getting worried. He disucssed the situation with dad's doc-in-charge, and decided to send him for a immediate CT scan on the brain. This really get them on their feet now.... why why why.... they should have responded to my request earlier and not taking things for granted. Mum is with him now and again he is in his drowsy mode.... praying praying hard everything will be fine.... Labels: Getting Worried.... 1:31 PM
Bella and Me missing our Daddy
This week has been a tiring and "happening" week.... Dad fell at the community club after his lesson, thought it was just external injuries till he complain discomfort on Tuesday morning. We've sent him to A&E for check coz worried of his heart issue... was admitted immediately. Docs ran tons of investigations on him and everyday, i receive "surprises", not pleasant, but scary.... Yesterday, was told that the fell has lead him to fracture his no. 7th rib bone, no wonder he complains of pain, well, nothing can be done, just take medicine and wait for natural healing. Doc also updated that they found some kidney conditions in him (in fact dad knew about it, but never told us!), so further investigation will be done on that. Went to see him last evening, he was looking very down and tired - think its the pain killer's side effect ba.... This morning, the doc called to update me again, more surprises.... His heart tests turns out to be ok, but, the red blood pillates is a bit low and also kidney not well - gosh..... so more investigation work will be done... thus, they'll keep him there for observation.... I can;t visit him these 2 days as I am sick, with high fever and bad runny nose.. so mum will take over the role.... baby Bella is missing daddy badly, each time when she hears his name, she'll be alert and hunt for him. Last night, called dad and put him on speaker phone for Bella to hear his voice, she tilted her head and listened with a smile - guess our little gal really misses him badly.... Though dad makes me angry very often, but, he is still very dear to me, coz he pampered me from young.... feeling heartpain to see him going thru this, praying hard he will recover soon and be home asap. I still cannot forget the time i have spent in the hospital when grandma was ill then, memories of her started flashing back, in fact last nite while waiting outside dad's ward, i could feel my tears rolling in my eyes... I am scare.... haiz.... daddy ... do come home soon.... Labels: Feeling Down |