Spending half of my lifetime indulging in work and just work... I've came to realized that there are more important things in my life that I should spend my time with, as once I missed or lost it, I will never have another chance to turn back the clock. As such, I've learnt to treasure every moment with them.... Thank you my beloved Grandma, Daddy and Daisy.... you've made me come to know the mistakes I've made before. Though I can never see, talk or hug you now, but I know, you've never left me, just that you've "migrated to Heaven" and are watching over me from above now...
1) All my loved ones to stay healthy
2) Able to take holiday breaks every half yearly
3) To stay happy and positive
4) Buy my own house
5) Set up my own business
6) To do voluntary work for the Elderly
1) To Stay healthy
2) Cheerful
3) Skin no more itchy
4) Fur longer so that can tie nice nice top-knots
5) Mummy will buy me nice top ribbons and bows
6) A stroller
7) Lose weight (both me and Bella)
8) More quality time together
I just cannot accept that you have left me... last Sunday, I could not control anymore to put up a strong front - I broke down badly in front of mum at home....
Dad... how are you in Heaven now? Did you meet popo and Daisy? You must stay close to them and walk together... till the day we'll meet you again... theres just so much so much things I want to talk to you .... when I am sick... you'll always come by my bedside to feel my forehead and cook porridge for me when mum is at work then.
I miss your special fried rice and bee hoon, they are just so good and now, I can never taste that again. Mum, Bella and me have been visiting you and popo and Mandai lately... I am sure both of you saw us... mum broke down whenever shes there and me too. Its so hard to see a piece of marble now with your pic and name and not you in person.... dad ... we miss you... very much....
Bella has also been missing playing with you... shes now trying to accept that daddy gong gong is gone too... mum and me has been telling her that you are in Heaven now and she'll look up to the sky whenever we ask her where you are...
Daddy, I remembered you've told me... I am your only daughter and you love me most... sorry for not spending time with you over the last few years... I know you have been lonely.... dad.. forgive me pls.....
Now, I can only have your pic with me in my wallet and carry along.. knowing you are with me all the time...
Daddy, Grandma and Daisy.. we miss you and we know.. you miss us too...
Always remembering all of you in my heart...
Labels: Miss you Daddy
visited the doctor 5 times and almost got admitted to hospital.... but I just refuse to go coz I still cannot get over the lost of dad and grandma at the hospital. Doctor sent me for a x-ray and blood test, he confirmed that I am having severe Bronchitis that results in a very high fever.
I took a week of medical leave last week to rest myself - but actually, I was working from home.... have been feeling depress especially when I am trying so hard to recover and yet can't.
Last Friday, 16/4, mum, Bella and me, went to Mandai Crematorium to pay respect to dad and grandma as its exactly a month since daddy left us. It seem like a long time he has left, but its just a month. Mum and me again broke into tears badly... we really miss daddy very much.....
Bella has been a good baby.... she kept quiet and bowed to give respect to dad and grandma.... shes just a lovely babe....
Mum is not feeling well these 2 days, guess she must have caught the virus from me... rushed her to the doctor for treatment, shes now home asleep....
To me now, the most important thing is family and health....
Now I am left with Mum, Brother and Bella, they are all I have now... and of course... I have a few wonderful friends who are like sisters to me.... they are just so great and I thank God for them....
Labels: Being sick again....
We've visited dad at Mandai twice and each time, mum and me broke into tears. Little Bella uses her little paw to touch daddy's picture coz she remembers him dearly....
Last Saturday, we went over to Mandai to pay respect to both Grandma and Dad... we were prepared for a big jam due to Chinese Ching Ming, however, both of them have blessed us with a smooth and clear journey - we were not caught by the jam.
Thought I have been strong... but realized that deep down I am so weak... I am feeling the "after-effect"... have been feeling depress and lost lately. I am missing dad more and more. Kept thinking of his face, his smile and the way he walks, I blame myself for not spending enough time with him, talking to him, bringing him out for meals... I should have done it.. now... I have no more chance to do it.
I have been daddy's gal since young and he doted me a lot, in fact, he was the one that loves me most and able to tolerate my nonsense, especially when I throw my tantrums. Dad has never cane me before, only once or twice he slapped me when I was young - due to me being mischeivious. The person whom loves me most, has left me...
I regretted not taking up my Chinese Calligraphy lessons from him seriously since young and thought I was so happy having not to do it anymore after my primary school education. Now, I saw Dad's achievements in this area + all the stuffs he left for us, I should have been more serious about it. Dad's last piece of Chinese Calligraphy writing for me was the word "Gong Xi Fai Cai", when I have asked him to write for me to place the bowl where I store the Mandarin Oranges during CNY.
Dad left us with many Chines poems books and some of the writings he has done - we will keep that with us... thats what he has left for us now....
Dad - I miss you badly.....
Labels: Missing my daddy